By Deep Scroll Staff 
A simple question is stirring up a big conversation for Belizean women: Were you raised to build your own independence or to prepare for someone else’s approval?
One Belizean woman’s TikTok has gone viral after she claimed there are “two types of families” in the country. This has now sparked a wave of responses. Viewers reflect on how they were taught to see education, relationships, and their future.
What started as a casual observation has quickly turned into a deeper debate about gender roles, expectations, and how much those lessons still shape lives today.
Mer (@that1bzequeen) has opened up the floor for discussion with her thought-provoking clip that already has over 14,000 views. She currently lives in Chicago but was raised in Belize until she was a freshman in high school. Now, she’s sharing her experience as to how Belize’s culture molds women.
She says that in her experience, girls are raised in only two sets of mentality. One: Be studious and get your degree so you “don’t need no man.” The second deals with more practical skills.
“You have to learn how to clean. You have to learn how to wash because no man a want you,” Mer explains. She then claims that she was raised in the former. “If you have to need a man, then a man is gonna show why you need him.”
The line between independence and subservience is clearly being drawn. Mer ends the clip by asking her viewers to share what type of family they were raised in. She also asked what advice they got while they were growing up.
Being a small English-speaking country sandwiched between bigger nations, Belize is notably behind in a myriad of ways. Not only with technological advancements or scientific discoveries, but also in the sense that it is still deeply rooted in a patriarchal society.
Of course, this can be said for most of the world’s population. However, if one were to look at the history of Belize, they would learn that throughout the decades, women may have gained rights, but not a voice. In 2024, Rachel Brunot and Joel Wainwright conducted a study on the rise and fall of the women’s movement in Belize. In particular, how capable women are not given roles that would traditionally be given to men i.e., being a politician. They note that “while 7% of the seats were held by women after the 1998 elections, there were none after the 2003 and 2008 elections and only one after 2020. Belize is near the bottom of the international tables for gender equality in political leadership.”
They discuss that the labor market is biased against women and that, on the whole, violence against women is common. This can be a reason why so many fall to the ‘default.’ This is learning more tactical skills to upkeep a household. The UN noted that in Belize, “33.5% of women aged 20–24 years old were married or in a union before age 18.” Pairing this with no higher education, one can see why Belize stays rooted to its traditional gender roles. As Brunot and Wainwright concluded, “Taken together, we see a patriarchal society where women have won important but limited gains.”
Interestingly enough, the two sides are not as separate as one would think. A slew of Mer’s viewers share that they grew up hearing both sides. One viewer says, “I’m a mix of both. My ma seh get yuh education and a good job mek yuh noh need ah man, but also know how fi cook and clean and take care ah yuh house. Kaz yuh da wah woman and need fi know fi do that fi when yuh get yuh own house and fi when yuh want ah man. So a mix of both for me.”
Others are more clear-cut. One viewer shares, “The first family. My dad didn’t teach me much about men. Only thing he taught me is to have my own money so I don’t have to depend on anyone.”
“The first for sure. Def heard ‘books are your boyfriend,'” says a third viewer.
Finally, one viewer says, “Want ah man, never need a man. That way you realize you capable of taking care of yourself financially and that the man you end up with you actually want be with and not just out of necessity.”
Deep Scroll reached out to Mer for comment.
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